Posted on by MinStories
Chapter 1: The Lemon Incident
It began, like all strange things in my life, with a flying lemon.
Not metaphorically.
A literal lemon hit Principal Howard’s bald head during morning announcements. From the third floor.
Nobody saw who threw it.
Nobody admitted anything.
But everyone blamed me.
Why? Because:
- I was near the scene.
- I was laughing way too hard.
- And because my Grandpa goes to school with me.
Yes. You read that correctly.
Grandpa is 72, wears a trench coat even in July, and insists on “auditing” my middle school classes “for mental exercise and cafeteria nuggets.”
And ever since he started talking to his invisible friend, chaos has followed.
Chapter 2: Meet Douglas
“Grandpa,” I hissed at lunch, “did you throw a lemon at Principal Howard’s head?”
He slurped his chocolate milk.
“Nope. That was Douglas.”
“Douglas doesn’t exist!”
“He disagrees.”
“Then tell Douglas to STOP.”
“I would, but he’s got commitment issues and a passion for citrus-based mischief.”
I rubbed my face.
This was becoming a problem.
Not because Grandpa was embarrassing.
(That ship had sailed, capsized, and sunk.)
But because detention now had a punch-card system with my name on it.
Chapter 3: The Great Binder Swap
Thursday morning: my binder was filled with… spaghetti.
No papers. No math homework. Just spaghetti. Meatballs included.
“Grandpa!”
He was already giggling in the hallway, offering Parmesan to random students.
I marched up.
“Where are my assignments?!”
“Douglas traded them for carbs.”
“You mean YOU did.”
He raised one eyebrow.
“Do I look like someone who can cook spaghetti inside a Trapper Keeper?”
Unfortunately, no.
His microwave privileges were revoked in 2017.
Chapter 4: Douglas Goes Too Far
Friday. Science class.
Mr. Hammond was discussing tectonic plates when suddenly—
ALL the frogs in the biology lab began singing “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Perfect harmony.
Even the tiny one with only one eye hit the high notes.
The class gave a standing ovation.
Mr. Hammond fainted.
Principal Howard barged in holding a lemon.
“THIS. ENDS. NOW.”
He dragged me and Grandpa to the office.
Grandpa shrugged.
“Douglas gets musically inspired around amphibians.”
Chapter 5: Suspended (Almost)
“Mr. Collins,” Principal Howard massaged his temple, “I cannot expel your grandson for crimes committed by… an invisible man named Douglas.”
“Thank you,” Grandpa said.
“I’m expelling you instead.”
“…Less thank you.”
Grandpa stood. Straightened his tie (which had cartoon pickles on it). Nodded seriously.
“Very well. But before I go… may I speak directly to Douglas?”
Principal Howard blinked.
“Fine.”
Grandpa turned to the corner of the room and stared into space.
“Douglas… do you feel remorse for what you’ve done?”
Silence.
Then Grandpa gasped and pointed.
“Look out! He’s got a stapler!”
Howard ducked.
Nothing happened.
Except a stapler fell off a shelf and hit him in the foot.
“AAAAAAAAAUGH!”
Grandpa leaned over.
“Told you.”
Chapter 6: The Truce
Howard didn’t expel anyone.
Instead, he made Grandpa write a 500-word essay titled “Why Imaginary Friends Should Not Commit Real Crimes.”
It was mostly doodles.
He gave me a lemon-scented stress ball and said, “Good luck, kid.”
As we left, I said, “You have to stop. This is getting out of hand.”
Grandpa nodded solemnly.
“You’re right. It’s time Douglas used his powers for good.”
I stared. “He has powers now?”
“You try making frogs sing Queen without magic.”
Chapter 7: The Talent Show Disaster
Our school talent show was next week.
I planned to do stand-up comedy.
Grandpa offered to “assist” with stage effects.
I was skeptical.
He promised “no lemons, no amphibians.”
Come performance night, I stepped on stage, heart pounding.
First joke?
“Why did the student eat his homework?”
Pause.
Silence.
Then—boom!
Confetti cannon exploded over the audience.
Everyone cheered.
Second joke?
“What did the pencil say to the paper?”
Bang! A choir of kazoos played a rimshot.
Third joke?
A whoopee cushion launched from the ceiling and hit Vice Principal Morgan in the face.
Grandpa shouted from the back,
“DOUGLAS STRIKES AGAIN!”
Chapter 8: Fame
Overnight, I was a legend.
Memes were made.
People wore “Team Douglas” buttons.
Someone sold a “Douglas Threw the Lemon” T-shirt in the school store.
Grandpa became an unofficial mascot.
We started eating lunch at the cool table (though Grandpa still brought sardines).
Even Howard cracked a smile. Once. It looked painful.
Chapter 9: But Is He Real?
One day, Jenny from math cornered me by the lockers.
“Nico,” she whispered, “I saw something weird.”
“What?”
She pulled out her phone.
Video footage.
In the background of the talent show, for a split second, a blur—a figure, shadowy, wearing a top hat—stood on the stage rafters.
Then vanished.
“Tell me that’s not Douglas.”
I gulped.
I wanted to say no.
But the next day, I found a lemon in my sock drawer.
And it winked at me.
Happy Reading!!!
Recommend Reading:
Predicting the Future
Slappy the Robot
We’re Just Roommates
Three Beer Man
The Science Fair Time Machine Disaster
The Great Sandwich Heist
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